Hi all,
First off, thank you for your lovely comments on my previous post. My grandmother is doing much better and was sent back to her retirement home. She was dehydrated and not eating enough. Which bothers me because… well… shouldn’t the staff at the retirement home be looking out for her?!
Last week was really tough for me. Work was abnormally stressful and then the whole grandmother thing occurred.
But… the main reason I was stressed was because of my trainer’s at the gym.
Remember my new outlook on life? How I don’t want to stress anymore about what I eat, how I look, etc, etc? Well, my outlook was completely and utterly tested last Tuesday.
First off, I did some stupid things to lead me to this situation:
- I weighed myself
- I weighed myself in the middle of the day during that time of the month (sorry boys)
Those were BAD decisions on my part. First off, I shouldn’t be weighing myself and obsessing about a number. Second, I shouldn’t weigh myself in the middle of the day AND during the WORST time of the month for my body and I!
Okay, so I weighed myself and did not like the number. That’s when the obsession began.
I went to the gym as I do every week. My trainer was waiting for me and I told him that I think I gained weight. He asked me what I was eating and explained how they recommend a diet of no carbohydrates in the evening – basically after 4 or 5 in the afternoon.
I was well aware of their “plan” because I received a booklet when I started. Also, my girl friend goes there too and was told the same thing (she followed their plan and lost weight).
I do not want to go on a diet. Absolutely no way, no how. I want to listen to my body, damnit!
So, obviously Tuesday wasn’t great. I ended up crying (yes, crying) at the gym and again on Thursday. I was that girl.
I don’t want to stereotype male trainers, but my two trainers are very muscular men who work out all the time. I’m not sure they understand a woman’s needs either (they recommended that I not drink milk because of the sugar content). With that in mind, I went ahead and spoke with another woman who works at the gym. She told me to either lower my fat intake, sugar intake, calorie intake, or whatever I decide. But whichever I decide, I need to stick with it.
This frustrated me even further. My head was literally spinning all over the place with different diets and ways to eat.
I thought I had myself figured out.
It seems like they do not accept me for who I am. I am someone who does not want to obsess about dieting and the fact that they even recommended it, makes me upset. Why couldn’t they have said, “Just do what you’re doing and watch your portions.” It made me think that other people view me as overweight. It was just an awful, awful week.
Luckily, I am getting over it. I had a lovely 4-mile run yesterday and I feel great. It just goes to show you that no matter what you decide and no matter how committed you are to doing something, there will be set backs. This was a huge set back for me psych*logically.
And, frankly, if I only ate protein and veggies after 5:00 for the rest of my life, I would not be happy. Not to mention that I’d probably gain back whatever weight I lost.
Absolutely ridiculous.
Has anyone had a similar experience?
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Yeah. I get it a lot. From my aunt. She comments about my diet what I should and shouldn’t eat. Organic this lowfat that.
It gets so annoying. And the comments about
my weight, etc.
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I’m so sorry! Sounds super discouraging, but I hope you can be proud of your running (4 miles is nothing to sneeze at) and your great attitude towards becoming healthy. You don’t want to look (or live) like those trainers, so keep doing what you’re doing – and be proud of your progress!
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Oh girl. This post makes my heart hurt for you. I know what you are going through but please know that it is just a number. You look fabulous and you are doing everything right. Don’t let the stupid boys at the gym make you cry. You are running like crazy and eating healthy. And if it helps at all…I’m super proud of you!!! I love you girl!!! XOXO
Gwen´s last blog ..Weekend Update
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Ugh I hate that you had a bad week last week because of your trainer! He should be making you feel good about yourself and your accomplishments! I don’t think people view you as over weight! I definitely don’t! Your outlook on your body image is the way to go!
As for your question, I have felt that way before! I think that everyone has, and it’s really unfortunate.
Have a good week girl! See you this weekend!!
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Oh girl, BIG HUGS. I am so so sorry.
First of all, you are not overweight. You are strong and capable and you freaking RUN MILES. You are strong and in shape.
And the fact that this gym sets absolute advice as to what you should or should not be eating… well, I think that’s bullsh*t. It’s just dumb. Nothing is ever black and white – and for them to say that it is is just plain dumb.
I don’t have any great advice for you other than the fact that you neeed to assert yourselves with them and set up boundaries. Maybe even telling them that “telling me what I CAN’T do isn’t helpful – let’s focus on what I can do instead next time”….
Big hugs. And a big middle finger to all the meatheads who think that because they’re a professional “trainer” they can tell you their OPINIONS. Ugh.
ClassyFabSarah´s last blog ..Someday I’ll Post Again…
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Ugh..I’m sorry you got setback but I agree with you, on listening to your body and not just jumping in and out of diets. I think you look great girl!
Lil’ Woman´s last blog ..Oh, Martha
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Girl, you can run 4 miles. That’s great. I can’t even do that right now. I’m struggling trying to run a mile on the treadmill in less than 13 minutes. Forget the juiceheads. I think they forget that everyone is not gung-ho about calorie counting and how many reps they can do in one night. LOL! I found an app on my Iphone that I like. It’s called the Lose It! app, and it’s free. I’m like you, I’m trying to be okay in the body I’m in. I don’t want to not have cheesesticks or cheesy pasta and what not. I just want to be in shape and be healthy. I like this app because you put in the amount of food you eat each day and exercise. It just helps me keep track of not going overboard. Sometimes, okay alot of time, I am guilty of that. Hope your day gets better!!!!
SouthernBelleJM´s last blog ..WHO DAT!!!!!!
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Tell the trainers to go to hell. You look fabulous and you look healthy. Don’t share info with them. Talk to us. We love you. “You’re Welcome” and {{{HUGS}}}. xoxo
Preppy 101´s last blog ..XLIV
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I go to a trainer and luckily he has not told me what to eat. He normally just asks if I’ve eaten before and makes sure I eat after. I think you should listen to your body…you know what you want and all in all it’s portion control that will be the best for you. Good luck!!
Jamie´s last blog ..NYC 2010
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I can totally relate! Since college I’ve been working out with trainers. The first guy I went to told me I had to cut out dairy, gluten, sugar — etc. HELL NO! I am obsessed with food, I love to bake, and there was no way that was going to happen.
I told him flat out that his principles were not in line with mine and that I was going to have to look elsewhere for a trainer.
After trying out different ppl I finally found a trainer who believes in moderation and thinks that if you work hard and eat healthy, you’ll lose weight/maintain your weight and have a healthy lifestyle. You’re not going to stick to a no-carb/sugar plan forever! that’s unrealistic! It’s much better to have a healthy lifestyle and eat sweets in moderation.
If you’re not happy with your gym/trainers, I would look elsewhere and find the right fit for you!
p.s. I was also hesitant about going to a male trainer, but I actually found they’re more professional with me — the girl trainers I saw in the past didn’t work me hard enough and spent half the time chatting.
Don’t be discouraged!!
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Oh dear, I’m so sorry to hear they were being frustrating!! I hate diets as well. As soon as I restrict myself, I want to eat whatever I previously didn’t allow myself to touch. No more weighing yourself during that time of the month or in the middle of the day! Weight is just a stupid a number that varies (I swear) by the friggen hour. I hate it.
Sorry about that, rant is now over
Anyway, cheer up dear. You are a rockstar and you ran FOUR miles. That’s awesome! Keep it up!
Freck´s last blog ..Weekend Recap + Giveaway Winner!!
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I’m a health coach at a clinic and seriously- portion control and healthy choices is where it’s at. Those guys need to stop with the BS of “no carbs after such and such of time” or other stupid things like “you must be a calorie natzi”. I’ve had/have an eating problem for the past 5-6 years myself and the best thing I could tell you is- listen to your body, eat when you’re hungry, but just maintain good portions and healthy choices. Obv you’re working out, so that takes care of the whole “calories in, calories out” thing.
Burn some calories and smack those guys in the face. I hate when people don’t understand the emotional side to eating/working out.
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I’m sorry you had such a tough time. It’s hard to battle your mind about these things. Believe me, I do it all too often too and I hate it and the feeling it leaves me with. Just know that you are doing what’s right for you. I’m glad the 4 miles were helpful though. That always makes me feel better, a nice run really helps me realize that I can run and so many people can’t who want to. I need to focus on that before anything else. <3
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SCREW them. Id find a new gym, pronto!
Ashley´s last blog ..Exhaustion, Graduation, Awardation
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What a tough week! It’s so good that you recognize and know what you want and need, and are striving to make them one in the same. Don’t let anybody try to shape your image of yourself in anyway that isn’t anything but positive.
I know how you feel though when people try to tell to you something this ridicoulous. I am a big girl, always have been a bit fuller than most, and a close family friend went on a radical diet plan for Food Addicts Annoymous. In short, it cuts out sugar and a lot of heavy carbs from your diet all together and you lose massive amounts of weight. I remember one night at her house we were complementing her on her weight loss when she looked at my middle (the then only big part of my body-the rest I was beyond confident in my curves-like spokeswoman for curvy girls confident) and said, “Yeah you need to go on it. You need to lose that fat middle…and well you would look good thin.” What? Who says something so rude to someone? Karma has a way of catching up to people as she now is 70 pounds heavier than she was pre diet.
So keep up your hard work and don’t let anyone judge you or make you feel less than you are. Be confident!
Start of Something Beautiful (Emily)´s last blog ..Story time with Em..
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Glad to hear your grandmother is feeling better!!!
PS I never never weigh myself in the middle of the afternoon, it’s too depressing
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YIKES. Sounds super-discouraging. I can’t say I’ve ever had a similar experience, but you seem to have a good mindset – you know what’s best for you, what you want, and, most importantly, what you DON’T want. Don’t let anyone talk you into a regimen that you’re not comfortable with!
Suburban Sweetheart´s last blog ..No Waffling: The Belgians Do It Best
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I have come to the conclusion that I am never going to loose the amount of weight that the people at the gym advise me that I should loose, over the past few years I have changed gyms several times, tried the “trial” trainers at all of them and even tried getting my own to bring with me to the gym! I have tried this diet, that diet, this rule of thumb and that…. don’t eat carbs after noon, cut out the sugar, go gluten free, live on vegatables and protein, cut out all dairy products…. Its ridiculous.
I have come to the following conclusions…
a) im in love with food, period. I like to eat, cook and bake (a lot)
b) im never going to be as skinny as I am in my minds eye
c) Im okay with all of that.
If you can run 4 miles and be happy with who you are, how you eat and how you feel after all of that, then really you only need to keep on top of what i like to call ‘maintenance”. that means going to a doctor on an annual basis to make sure that all your vital vitals are in check, and more importantly that you feel good about you, mentally and phsyically. I speak from experience, for the past 15 years I have been doing battle with my weight. I’ve come to the conclusion that life is much easier when I am happy with who I am.
Don’t let the meatheads at the gym discourage you from working out if that is what you want to do. Also listening to your body and giving in to some, not all, of your cravings is actually quite smart. Your body craves what it needs (most of the time).
Sarah´s last blog ..baking fail
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Julie,
You are fit and beautiful and STRONG! Keep doing what you are doing and don’t let trainers at your gym define your body image. You are the only ne who gets to do that
Keep it up girl! We’re all rooting for you!
ms mindless´s last blog ..what book should i read next?
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I just ran into your blog and, and wanted to comment as a former gym manager/trainer.
While I definitely don’t agree with their suggestions for your diet, I honestly doubt they don’t accept you for who you are! No way! Being “fit” doesn’t necessarily mean “Fitting” into a certain mold or stereotype of a big, muscle head! However, since you sat down with a trainer and said “I think I gained weight” that to them may have been a signal that you wanted help losing it! If you’re happy with how you look/eat/etc that’s ALL that matters- but make sure they know that!
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I just want to share two great tips I got about food and weight management. The best advice I ever got about food was from my nutritionist. The second best from my triathlon coach.
My nutritionist told me that if I wanted to make a change and be healthier with my food, I needed to know what I currently was doing. She suggested just writing down what I ate for about 10 days. Everything.
Then, and only after the 10 days was up, figure out the balance between calories, fat-carb-protein, and stack it up against your exercise schedule to check consumed v spent. But DO NOT DO THIS PART UNTIL AFTER YOUR 10 DAYS.
When you take that step back, look at it, analyse it – only then can you tweak things. Only then. Not before.
And my coach told me to weigh myself every day – but never pay attention to the number. Pay attention to the trend of the week or two weeks, and use it as a guide, combined with the way my clothes fit.
Hope these help. If you do the food counting, I used fitday.com for mine and found it useful.
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